Here For You
by astradanvers
Summary: This is supposed to be a fix it fic in regards to Astra's death and it is but it is also angst ridden and a destroyer of feelings. Please forgive me.


Alex flops down onto her couch after leaving Kara in James and Winn's capable hands, claiming a need to return to the DEO and handle things with Lord. Kara tries to come but Alex tells her to stay, to spend time with her friends. "Is this the right thing?"

"How the hell should I know?" Alex growls at the person on the other end of her couch. "I have done so much to protect Kara, from beating the hell out of bullies when we were twelve to beating the hell of an alien last week. I arrested the most powerful man in this city. And tonight, tonight I ripped her heart right out of her chest for the second time in as many hours. Then, then I let my boss, a man I've come to view as family, as nearly a father take the blame for it." She rolls her head to the side, "Is this the right thing?" She shrugs, stands, "How the fuck should I know?"

She's standing at the counter in her kitchen, glass tumbler in one hand and the other wrapped around the neck of a bottle of whiskey when she feels the presence behind her. "You saved her," the person says, she doesn't turn. "You are the only person who could have pulled her out of that hallucination. You are her hero and when she learns of this I have hope that she will see it for exactly what it is."

"And what is it?" Alex demands, whirling around and hurling the tumbler in her hand so that it shatters against her wall. "What the hell is it because I sure as hell don't know anymore? I - I went against everything," she chokes on a sob, "I went against every fucking thing that I am tonight because you asked me to." She turns watery eyes on the person before her, "Why did you ask me to?"

The woman before her moves forward, "Because you have always protected her, you have always kept her safe. I couldn't, I couldn't do that but you have."

"Astra," Alex breathes out, "I lied to her tonight. I let her," the sob breaks free this time, "I let her believe you died on that rooftop. How am I supposed to face her?" She shakes her head, "Kara hates liars and I just told her the biggest lie of my life. Bigger than working for the DEO, bigger than when I told her Shawn Lucas didn't like her in high school, bigger than any lie I've ever told to anyone. I told her that you died, that the only piece of her home she had left, that that piece was gone."

"Alex," Astra says, stepping forward automatically and pulling the sobbing woman into her arms, "oh, you are so very brave but being brave does not mean you have to carry the whole word on your shoulders. You lied to Kara, yes, but you did it for the right reasons." Astra tilts her head as she holds Alex away from her, "You are her hero, Brave One, you have been her hero since she was twelve years old."

"And you were her hero before that," Alex says. She shakes her head when Astra starts to refute the claim, "For the first month of her time on Earth all I heard about, more than her parents or her planet or the rest of her family was about her Aunt Astra, about this amazing woman who could move, who would move mountains any time her niece needed her." Alex falls quiet for a moment, "You're moving her mountains again now."

"How so?"

"By being there when she's going to need it the most." Alex tilts her head, "Just because you told her not to does not mean she isn't going to go after Non, the opposite in fact, because she won't blame me, when she finds out, or even Hank before she does, for your death, she will blame Non. You may have been General but you and I both know," Alex meets Astra's steady gaze, "you and I both know that he is the reason for this vendetta against humanity. You lost the heart for it the moment Kara came back into your life."

"And you," Astra says, "it has taken me these last few months to realize it but I have realized that. When Kara came back into my life she brought you with her and when she did, I found that I had two people to call family still."

"We spent the first month of knowing each other talking through Kryptonite laced glass, how could you even begin to call me family then?"

"Because you protected Kara." Astra tilts her head, "You don't see it, do you?"

"See what?"

A look of utter confusion takes over Astra's features, "Alex, you may be Kara's hero because you have protected her since her first moments on Earth but you are also my hero."

"Your hero?"

"Yes, you saved me tonight. You could have let the last man of Mars kill me. You could have killed me yourself. Instead you made me see reason, you saved Kara from a fate almost worse than death, from the moment I met you, you have been putting everyone, this planet, Kara, even me, before yourself."

"But I hurt her tonight," Alex says, tears gathering in her eyes once more. "I hurt her worse than I ever have. How will she ever look at me again?"

"The same way I look at you every time you do something amazing for me," a voice says from behind them and Alex closes her eyes, tears trailing down her cheeks.

Slowly Alex turns away from Astra, stepping free of the older woman's embrace, a place she hadn't even realized she still was, "Kara -"

"Hank didn't do it, I've known since the roof." Kara tilts her head, "You had a Kryptonite sword strapped to your back, Alex, did you really think I wouldn't notice. I knew though," she shakes her head, "I knew that there had to have been something there, something I was missing."

"How did you get so smart?" Alex questions, voice full of emotion and loaded feelings she can't even begin to process.

"I had a big sister who taught me everything I needed to know, including if something looks like a setup and walks like a setup then it's probably a setup." Kara reaches out to gently wipe away her sister's tears, "All the good things I learned here, Alex, I learned from you."

"You aren't mad?"

Kara tilts her head, "A little," she says honestly, "mostly because this emotional roller coaster of a day has left me so very much on edge that anger is better than falling apart. More than that though, I'm," she glances over Alex's shoulder to where her aunt has moved to look out the window, giving them as much privacy as she can, "I'm better." She looks back at Alex, "I'm better for having you as my sister, for having the friends that I do, for having Hank, never tell him I said that, for even having Cat, and for having Aunt Astra." She watches her aunt, she looks tiny Kara thinks, tiny and easily breakable, something she has never associated with either of the two women in the room with her now. As she glances to Alex beside her she sees that same look, the tininess that she never wants to see in these two people. "She changed for me, she changed for us because she changed for you too."

"I know," Alex says on a whisper. She nods towards Astra, "Go talk to her. I'm going to bed."

"I'm staying here tonight."

Alex nods, "I expected nothing less, I'll leave the light on in the bedroom for you."

Smiling Kara pulls Alex into the tightest hug she dares, "Thank you," she whispers against Alex's ear. "Thank you for saving me, for saving her and thank you for always being there for me. I can never repay you for that."

Cupping Kara's cheek and brushing her thumb over a smooth cheekbone Alex grins, "You never have to thank me and you never have to repay me. This is what I'm here for Kara. I'm here for you." She leans forwards, pressing a kiss to Kara's cheek, "I'm always here for you."


End file.
